The myth of the ONEgagement Ring

…or adventures that last for a lifetime?
Virginity, first love, marriage, faithfulness, sex – beautiful young women share their intimate secrets, as it is customary among girlfriends.

Discover the desire within you… Challenge your destiny. You can do it, right? Then you can follow me on my journey and I’ll leave it all up to your goodwill: whether the myth of the ONEgagement Ring has more power or it’s love that conquers all. ("ONEgagement Ring to rule them all, ONEgagement Ring to find them,

ONEgagement Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them"

– free rendering from Tolkien.)


The ideal ones
Tea and fancy bags adorn our table. It’s a typical we-barely-have-any-time situation in the afternoon. Still, we needn’t worry about this little group; they enjoy the fleeting moments too. One of us is a beautiful, attractive, intelligent woman under twenty. She’s a pleasant talker. Even from the sound of her voice it’s evident that she’s capable of more than just arousing desire. Our other girlfriend is someone who will, with her pretty face, get right of way in any traffic jam. When driving, she takes off her chichi, foxy stilettos and changes into a pair of alluring slippers. There is also a young wife among us. You wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at her; especially that she’s been married for two years now. She is delicate and fresh, with a straight back; she’s driven forward by her talent, and her feminine qualities are extraordinary as well… This much beauty is rarely combined in one person. Judging by the women’s appearances, you might not be able to say which one of them is more experienced (and in which areas) in life. Their lives are outright enviable, but it seems that the Ring has power over them too.

Girlfriends are always interested in each other’s lives and opinions. They compare each other’s lives; they empathize or have a good discussion over something; they give and receive advice on the important questions of life. Theirs is always a pleasant and intimate relationship. It’s difficult to speak about one’s private life without objective and without inspiration: there’s too much information that is collected inside us about ourselves and about others and this information is interlaced with a lot of emotion. If similar emotions arise in all of us, then these thoughts are suddenly born and they come alive, influenced by past experiences as well. The tiny tragedies of new plans, desires, loves, and changes all take place at the same time. It is at such times that we really feel the urge to get together. Our mood thickens when we’re together like this.

Their loves
- How did it start?

- Mmm. Well, I think that I have been in love since I was 15. My first relationship wasn’t so much love as it was adoration for a boy that was considered very good-looking and very popular among the girls. It was more an adoration because he was much older than me. And when I got to know him I thought that I was in love – but no, it wasn’t love. I had my first sexual experience with him, but it didn’t quite happen the way I wanted it to. I think I wasn’t completely ready for it. I even cried a little because I thought that I’d acted stupidly. In spite of this we had sex several times afterwards because on some level I was attracted to his body. I thought he was very masculine and I was totally infatuated. And then I realized that actually it’s not very masculine if someone behaves like a playboy.

- For me, the first relationship wasn’t love; I just had to try it. I was lying motionless and I observed what was happening. I didn’t even feel pain. And then he suddenly stopped and I saw that his penis was drooping. I had no idea why he had stopped, and then I started thinking about whether I was going to have a little Melinda now. I asked him the following day and he smiled and said I didn’t have to worry about having a child because we didn’t actually do it.

- My first relationship was a longer one. It was more a feeling of affection, not love. He didn’t appreciate me, so soon I became disenchanted. But when it was over I didn’t regret it. Well, I did a little at the time, but now, in retrospect, I don’t regret anything I had done.

- So none of you settled for your first boyfriend?

- No, it would have been too soon. Those relationships were about totally different things at the time. We had to get acquainted with this new feeling. Perhaps there was no other objective than this.

Baptism of sex
- When did you lose your virginity?

- Among my friends and acquaintances, the girls were between 15 and 17 when they lost their virginity. I had a girlfriend who was 18 and she thought that it was too late. I actually have a friend who is 22 and she has just lost it recently. That’s pretty horrible. Her hormones were raging and the only thing she could focus on was finding a boy to whom she could lose it. She really wanted to get rid of her virginity. In the end she said that it’s not embarrassing to be a virgin, and that the bad thing about it was that everyone thought she wasn’t a virgin anymore. This was what had made her feel bad, and not the fact that she was still a virgin. She felt that she had been prepared, for many years, to lose her virginity; she just never found that special relationship. She couldn’t find a boy to whom she would gladly have lost it.

- Is it possible to tell if someone is a virgin?

- Yes, I think there is a difference. I can tell people apart in this respect. A virgin in their twenties may already be educated sexually, but you can tell from their reactions. If a boy looks at them or touches them, their reactions are totally different: virgins are scared. This may be normal; I mean, even a non-virgin might get scared for some reason, but you wouldn’t see this embarrassment in their reaction. A virgin’s gestures are much more abrupt and flustered when a boy goes up to them and they start talking.

- So is there perhaps a divide between people who are already sexually active and those who aren’t? What’s your experience or opinion on this: when two people are in a serious relationship, is there a divide between the partners based on whether they’re virgins or not? Is there a difference?

- If someone’s involved in a serious relationship but they haven’t lost their virginity yet, then perhaps they just haven’t had intercourse yet but they can still satisfy each other in different ways: they can cause each other orgasms through petting.

- Yes. They can be in a close physical and spiritual relationship with each other.

- But after a while I’m sure it becomes bothersome for one of the partners – usually for the partner who has already lost their virginity. In relationships this is usually the man, but the opposite may also be true. I’m sure that it will become bothersome after some time.

- Is the other person restricted in getting what they want if both of them are virgins? Have you heard of such cases?

- That must be catastrophic. :)))

- So you haven’t had such an experience… :)))

- No. :) I think that when someone loses their virginity, there may be some beauty in it if both of them are the “first” for each other. But I don’t think that their first experience will quite meet their expectations: one of them must have some previous sexual experience. This is the only way they will be able to give sexual pleasure to their partner. Otherwise the two of them will just make a total mess of things because they won’t know how to get started… :))

- But they say things will just happen naturally: like, “Relax, kids, you don’t have to ask around. Once you get there you’ll know what to do.”

- I don’t think that it works that way. Sex has to be learned.

Double sex
- Now you have a more grown-up way of thinking; you’re leading an adult life; your life has changed completely over a few years: you have a job, you have a career, you’re in a serious relationship, and in fact you’re thinking about starting your own independent business in the near future. You can see and experience that this takes a lot of time and energy. Have you thought about how you’re going to protect your love and your sex life?

- I’ve thought about it. In fact, we’ve been in such a situation already. I don’t know if it’s just personal experience or a general one. Next week it will be three years since my partner and I have been together, and sometimes there are periods when I don’t desire sex. I usually put this down to the fact that I’m working too much or he’s working too much. When we see each other it’s late and I’m tired. During such a week I always refuse him. When this happens, I can see that he holds it against me; he gets a bit angry if I always say no. I don’t come up with stupid excuses though: what I do is I satisfy him and then I refuse to continue with sex. I usually process this in a very short amount of time: I say to myself that my sexual appetite wasn’t quite big and then later I try to make up for this by doubling the amount of sex.

- Does this mean that you actively work on getting your sexual appetite back?

- Yes, because otherwise there could be months that pass without me wanting to have sex. Not because my body doesn’t desire it but because I simply don’t feel like it. But luckily we’ve only had such a situation twice in our relationship and I’ve given it a lot of thought. The last occasion was quite recently – my life was quite chaotic and I had to pay attention to many things at once, and when I thought about it I hoped that this would not become permanent in the future.

- And what’s your hope?

- I realized that even if I don’t feel like it but I let my partner go ahead with it – I mean, when I feel like “two minutes ago I didn’t want to have sex but now my body is reacting in a positive way and in my mind I still want to say no…”, that I have to give in to my partner and sooner or later I’m sure that… I’ve had it happen before that I kept resisting, I kept resisting, but he remained insistent and in the end it was very, very good. :)))

- Was it better than at other times? :)

- It was better. Oh yes. :))

- Do you think that if you always give in – that even when you don’t feel like it you just let yourself go and let your partner get you in the mood – then this will work in the long run too? :))

- :)))) No, no, I don’t think so. But, like I said, luckily we’ve only had this happen twice during our three years together. If I see that this has become permanent, I will be sure that I have to refresh our relationship somehow. Because if there’s no desire then perhaps there are other problems too besides the sexual ones. The last time it happened I didn’t feel like there was no desire – there was. I would just put it down to being really tired mentally.

- Then what do you think is going to work in the future?

- That I don’t know. :))) I’ll have to come up with other things.

- Good idea. :)) You always need fresh ideas in sex. And what if your attitude is positive, and you have good ideas too, but you have no time and energy?